21 October 2014

In which I deploy BIG NUTS

Bella was invited to an epic best-friend-hay-ride-bonfire-sleepover birthday party last weekend. You know what that means. It means little sister is left with plenty of alone time to consider how she is Dissatisfied With Her Terrible Difficult Boring Life.

But I am a little sister myself so I don't hesitate to deploy the big guns in little sisterly solidarity.

Or should I say I deployed THE BIG NUTS?

Buckle up, we're makin' NUT ROLLS! OH Yeah!! Who needs a best-friend-hay-ride-bonfire-sleepover birthday party? Not us!

Making Nutrolls

She's into it. Little nut roll buddy.

Step one. Find a recipe on the internet. There are only a couple to chose from. Nut rolls not as popular as they deserve, obviously.

Step two. Make the filling (SPOILER ALERT this filling sucks). Boil sugar syrup until hard ball stage. Takes a while. Be prepared to shoo your sad little helper away MANY. TIMES.

So far, great, right? Great.

Making Nutrolls

Then you whip some egg whites up, and then drizzle the hot syrup in there. Heeeeeeeeyyyyyy wait a minute. Wait one cotton picking minute. I have totally done this before. Isn't this how you make MARSHMALLOWS?

Making Nutrolls

Well shit. I hate making marshmallows. Because you know what I use if I know I am making effing MARSHMALLOWS?? This $1.19 container of marshmallow fluff. BOOM. I just saved you an hour. for goodness sake.

Making Nutrolls

Well anyway it's too late for me now. What's fluffed is fluffed. On with the nut rolls.

So the filling, as laid out in the crappy recipe I'm using, is a gloppy mess. After Mimi and I are both covered in marshmallow goo, I decide to add a couple cups of powdered sugar to try to salvage it. After that it works pretty great. I get excited and throw in the tub of marshmallow fluff. Then more sugar.


Making Nutrolls

This next part, there are no pictures. Because I got burning hot caramel on my camera. Moving on.

You just smear some melted/burning hot caramel over the tube of filling goo, then roll it in peanuts. We tried both dry roasted and cocktail peanuts, and I'd recommend either but I slightly prefer the cocktail peanuts.

Making Nutrolls

Actually you know what makes an awesome nut roll? Cashews.

But anyway. These turned out pretty awesome.

Making Nutrolls

Mimi approved!

Making Nutrolls

So I guess I should put in a recipe, so you too can get addicted to nut rolls. And don't try to satisfy your cravings with Pearson's nut rolls. Those are just a sad substitute for these.

Salted Nut Rolls
makes about 20

7 oz marshmallow creme
2 cups powdered sugar
11 ounces caramel
1 jar peanuts

Just look at that ingredients list! There is nothing to it!

With a mixer, mix marshmallow creme and powdered sugar until it is sort of stiffish, like a minute or so.  Maybe add some vanilla--that would be awesome. Form into little logs. Melt the caramel (I used Kraft caramels). Smear the caramel with the back of a spoon or something onto the little logs, both sides and ends, being careful not to get any on your camera or fingers because it is super burning hot. Then roll in peanuts. Tah Dah! Dee-licious.

Making Nutrolls